“Women don’t speak English, they speak womenise”- Relationship coach, Stephen Omojuyigbe
Communication is everything in a relationship, it can either make or mar your relationship. To buttress the importance of communication in relationship and marriage, Stephen Omojuyigbe was live on #WakeUpNigeria.
He laid the foundation that communication is everything, starting from how the relationship started, to how you agree to get married and goes down to how you stay in the marriage.
“Communication is everything, it is a big deal”, was Stephen’s his overall opinion of communication.
He then went on to give three things that affect communication which are:
- Character: On this, he explained that whatever is said should match or respond to the body language projected. This means that one must say what the body language and facial expression are expressing.
“Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh. When you communicate , you communicate your heart. You don’t say something and I am experiencing something else. It is easy to fake your words, but it is hard to fake what’s in your heart.”
- Emotional maturity: He explained that every human being thinks before speaking, thus one must try to figure out before concluding.
“Every human being thinks before speaking. This maturity is the ability to create space between what you feel and allow interaction between what you feel and what you say. Conflict is not about the action or first action, it’s the reaction to the action that determines if there would be conflict or not.”
- Skill: Explaining this, he noted that some people don’t have the skill to communicate. He added that women have a different language they communicate which is called ‘womenise’, and men need to understand this language.
“Some people don’t know how to communicate and it leads to conflicts. As a man, you have to understand women and understand your woman. Through my wife, I realized that women don’t speak English, they speak ‘womenise’. How much they emphasize some words mean different things. The way they say ok o, is different from the way they say ok oooo… * laughs* It’s important you study your partner and know how they speak with their actions.”
He eventually gave two rules he feels would help those who are already having conflicts.
Firstly, “Always rule out prejudice”.
Prejudice is an adverse judgement or opinion formed beforehand or without knowledge of the facts.
He explained that no matter what and how the conflict turns out, couples should know and think that their partner loves them. Therefore, they should have a mental discipline that love is the reason for the other party’s reaction.
Secondly, “be your spouse’s advocate”.
On this he explained that couples should learn to defend their partner in their heads and mind. He noted that there might be thoughts of negativity about the spouse but he or she should defend them and think about positive things.