Everyone deals with insecurity but it calls for concern when it incapacitates you – Relationship expert, Stephen Omojuyigbe
Insecurities creep in so easily into relationships because, when we enter an intimate relationship we can be emotionally vulnerable, especially if we have felt let down or hurt in previous relationships.
The way insecurities are being handled in a relationship then matters.
This morning on WakeUpnigeria, relationship expert, Stephen Omojuyigbe gave tips on how to deal with insecurities in relationships.
He started by explaining what insecurity is, for both men and women. He explained that everyone deals with insecurity and it is a problem when it begins to affect one’s relationship.
“Insecurity is what everyone deals with but when insecurity incapacitates you, then it calls for concern. It becomes a problem when it begins to affect you negatively. There is the insecurity for men and for women.
The insecurity for men begin from the tender age when they begin to think of these basic questions, am I a man? Do i have what it takes? So he goes into life having the self confident. In a relationship, he will want to be domineering to prove he is a man. Men insecurities has to do with performance, position & power.”
To correct this insecurity in men, he said;
“Fathers need to come in and teach their sons how to be a man. This builds their self esteem. Fathers have to intervene in the relationship between mothers and their sons especially at the age of 12-13 and begin to initiate him. Take him out, make him hang around with men, take him to the salon with you and make him do what men do.”
He emphasised that women most times face the insecurity of whether they are being loved.
“At the age of 12-13 she begin to ask questions like, am i loved? Am I admired? Am I beautiful? And then she will want her daddy’s comment on her dress, so Fathers should tell their daughters they are beautiful, then she will know she is beautiful and loved.”
He then tipped that to deal with insecurity in relationship, it must be recognized first.
“To deal with insecurity in a relationship, the first thing to do is to recognize the symptoms, know if the relationship is healthy or not, identify who/where the insecurity came in from and from there you can deal with it.